Act Twenty Nine – Inspired by Trump, Modi plans to build a wall at the India-Pakistan border {Satire}

Inspired by American President-elect Donald Trump, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has decided to build a “beautiful” “impenetrable” wall at the India-Pakistan border. During his Republican primary campaign, Trump promised to build a wall on the border between the United States and Mexico if he is elected President.

Whether or not Trump decides to go ahead with his plans of constructing the wall, he has managed to successfully export his “outlandish” idea into the head of the Prime Minister of the world’s largest democracy.

“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively,” Modi said while addressing the media. “I will build a great, great wall on our western border.”

India shares a 3323 km long border with neighbouring Pakistan that runs along the states of Gujarat, Rajasthan, Punjab and Jammu & Kashmir. Modi said that the border wall will not only help keep out potential terrorists from crossing over into the Indian territory, but will also help curb the inflow of “dangerous drugs” into the country.

“When Pakistan sends its people, they’re not sending their best,” said Modi. “They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re sending terrorists. They’re bringing Heroin. They’re bringing Poppy. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. But unlike Mexicans, none of the Pakistanis are good people.”

India is currently in midst of a demonetization drive that was announced by the Prime Minister on 8th November. Banks and ATMs throughout the country have been witnessing long queues since the announcement was first made on national television by PM Modi two weeks ago. With the country reeling under a cash crunch, Modi was asked how he would finance the construction of the 3000 km+ wall.

Modi answered in his usual nonchalant style, “Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif will pay for the wall. 100%. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is going to pay for the wall. He has a lot of money and owns a beautiful beautiful house on the outskirts of Lahore. I am sure he won’t mind loosening his purse strings a bit.”

Furthermore, Modi said that he is planning to visit Pakistan next week to meet Nawaz Sharif and thrash out the finer details of the proposed wall.

Jamaat-ud-Dawah (JUD) chief Hafiz Muhammad Saeed came out and publicly condemned Modi’s decision to construct a wall on the Indo-Pak border. “Modi’s blasphemous proposal will render thousands of JUD youth jobless. Our entire livelihood depends on an open, free border between the two countries”. Saeed further went on to castigate the Indian Prime Minister for creating an atmosphere of insecurity inside Pakistan.

At the time of writing this article, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal could not be reached for comment.

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